1,000 Block Parties

Jan 2

Addressing the Quiet Epidemic of Loneliness

In the vast sprawl of suburban homes in throughout Colorado Springs, a quiet epidemic is growing. When I look back on the many articles written reflecting on 2023, they each reveal a striking theme: the pervasive sense of isolation experienced in both our city and across the nation. Amidst this backdrop, churches stand as key players in helping turn the tide of this growing problem.

What constitutes a “home?” While modern real estate focuses on tangible features, like granite countertops and scenic views, the heart of a home lies elsewhere. It lies in the relationships fostered within its walls and in the community beyond. A home is where one feels connected, recognized, and understood. But for many, the suburban sprawl often signifies mere proximity rather than true community.

Healthcare company Cigna conducted a study in 2020 that paints a bleak picture: over half of Americans feel a consistent sense of loneliness, with a staggering 1 in 8 individuals devoid of any close relationships[1]. The ramifications of this isolation extend beyond emotional pain and can have a serious impact on our physical health as well.

What do you think the Surgeon General, the head doctor for the United States, identified as the current top health concern for our nation? Surprising many, he purports that “loneliness” is currently the top culprit. He stated that loneliness damages our health in a way that is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes daily and elevates premature death by a startling 30%[2]. Another study said that 61% of young Americans[3] are grappling with heightened anxiety and depression, all stemming from the profound solitude they experience.

Understanding the Causes of Isolation

● Rugged Individualism - Rooted in ideals of self-reliance and independence, the celebration of individualism inadvertently distanced communities. It has created a narrative of forging one's destiny without relying on others, which has, paradoxically, left many feeling adrift. It’s created such a culture of isolation in Western countries that the United Kingdom even recently moved to appoint a “Minister of Loneliness” to address the issue.

● Ideological tribalism - Many turned to the internet to find like-minded communities to fulfill their need for connection. However, this may have instead increased feelings of isolation, as people could only connect with those who thought exactly the same as them, which has led many down the road of extremism.

The church community was broken down by this same ideological tribalism. After the Covid-19 pandemic, the number of people who identified as evangelical has remained the same, if not increased, but a recent study found that only 40% of self-identified evangelicals go to church once a year or less[4]. As a result, this group has become more known for its political stances and less for its actual community participation.

● Entertainment and Social Media - Alarmingly, 73% of heavy social media users experience profound loneliness, a figure that escalates among younger demographics like Gen Z, who spend an average of 7.3 hours daily on their smartphones.[5]

● Life Transitions - Life's myriad transitions, from career changes to parenthood and retirement, often strain social fabrics. Ninety-one percent of workers do not expect to stay at their jobs for more than three years (felt even more deeply by military communities). These milestones, while transformative, can inadvertently alienate individuals, further accentuating feelings of loneliness.

● Consumerism - This is perhaps the largest cause of isolation. The constant comparison of our lives to the material lives of others can make everything feel like a competition that must be won, no matter the cost. Newer and larger homes with more amenities are being built all across the city, with many of them advertising “community” as a selling point while designing to be more like a row of secluded castles next to one another, where you only ever see your neighbor's shoes as the garage door seals shut.

We are so used to taking items, using them for our gain, and then tossing them out that we sometimes view relationships this same way. But when you hold onto something for a lifetime, you care for it and repair it over time. Perhaps we need to get back to thinking about our friendships this way, too.

This thinking has also made its way into the church. People leave a community where they can be known and know others in search of better events and programming. Or they leave the church because they didn’t provide them the “consumer good” of community rather than see the church as a place to grow them into cultivators of community.

Becoming Cultivators of Community

Relationships take work, and the meaningful relationships in your own life exist because of both party’s willingness to put time and energy into the relationship. Two-thirds of people who report loneliness say it is because they have no one else to rely on. To fix that, they would need someone they can rely on, someone who is willing to be available to them, Someone who can give something up for the sake of others! [6]

This is the call Christians have on their lives. The call Jesus gave them and demonstrated in his own life is to give yourself for the good of others. This is how community is built. This is how loneliness is solved. To love others as we love ourselves is, without a doubt, a hard calling. But we must love them enough to set our plans aside and be willing to sacrifice our resources.

There is only one way to sustain this hard calling; start with having a deep relationship with God. He is the wellspring of the community, love, and belonging we are all looking for. He gave his one and only son so that you could be adopted into His family and experience unconditional love. It’s only by resting in that truth that we would be able to begin to provide community to others.[7]

1,000 Parties: A call to action

We need to recognize the gravity of the loneliness epidemic facing us, and as Christians, we need to recognize our calling to love our neighbor by helping address the loneliness our neighbors face.

This last year, our mayor and many other city leaders identified mental health as the main problem in our city, and the main contributor to that problem was isolation and loneliness. Studies have shown that if someone knows as few as six of their neighbors, then they will no longer self-identify as lonely, yet most of us don’t know a single neighbor who lives near us! Studies have shown that something as simple as saying “hello” to a neighbor and engaging them in conversation can greatly increase how people score on a “life well-being” score[8]. So it starts small but can have a huge impact!

So how can we love our neighbors? By getting to know them, plain and simple. If all the churches in our city commit to hosting block parties and breaking down the barriers of isolation, we could have a huge impact on this loneliness epidemic. This is precisely why our church is going to be part of the city-wide effort to host 1,000 block parties!

This year we are going to have small monthly goals that help us work toward hosting block parties. So if this sounds intimidating, don’t worry, we are going to help build toward that and encourage one another to do it together. While the journey may seem daunting, even small gestures can create ripples of change in a community. This is part of how we fulfill our mission statement to bring “Gospel reorientation to the suburbs.”

Loneliness, though pervasive, is not insurmountable. By fostering genuine connections, embracing community-centered activities, and championing initiatives that bring neighbors together, we can redefine the narrative of isolation that plagues our suburbs. This year let’s be committed to giving up something to gain genuine human connection and true community in our lives.

Ready to get started?

Start by reading more about what our church is doing in our “Parishes” to cultivate community.

Want some ideas on ways you can connect with neighbors?

FOOTNOTES:

[1] https://newsroom.thecignagroup.com/loneliness-in-america

[2] https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/loneliness-poses-health-risks-as-deadly-as-smoking-u-s-surgeon-general-says

[3] https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/reports/loneliness-in-america

[4] https://www.americansurveycenter.org/research/faith-after-the-pandemic-how-covid-19-changed-american-religion/

[5] https://fortune.com/well/2023/08/11/loneliness-study-digital-social-media/

[6] https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/24813-rethinking-community-2/

[7] https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/growth/why-inconvenience-might-be-the-antidote-to-the-loneliness-epidemic/

[8] https://www.cnn.com/2023/08/15/health/neighbor-greetings-gallup-better-health-wellness/index.html